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Release of exam results ?

Posted by deveng 
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avatar Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 11:06AM
jeanbodemer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> More like a cancer patient waiting to find out if
> the chemo worked.


ROTFLMAO! smiling bouncing smiley
Anonymous User
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 11:11AM
Don't know if any of you noticed - they changed the information on the myUnisa homepage from 12:00 noon to 22:00pm . So results are only coming out later tonight.
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 11:19AM
I'm guessing you guys wrote COS211 and/or INF305, in that case, good luck with the cancer / chemo.
smile
E
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 11:41AM
I think it's more a fact of should you go back to studies over this festive season seeing as most of the subs are in January or should you go and get an extra bottle of Champagne!!!
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 11:50AM
Cameron Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm guessing you guys wrote COS211 and/or INF305,
> in that case, good luck with the cancer / chemo.
> smile

I wrote both of them and know for a fact I failed INF305. Just hoping they feel sorry for us and give us all sups for INF305.
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 12:01PM
i heard someone talking about Unisa giving sups for all failed exams 0-49% because of the messed up year.

Anyone know if this is true?
avatar Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 12:04PM
That is not for the B.Sc subjects - somewhere else on the forum is a comment about that.
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 12:18PM
oh ok
avatar Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 01:05PM
Look at the "supp exams" thread - Dec 8 entries.
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 01:08PM
ye... and i even replied to it... good memory...
E
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 02:13PM
this wait is horrible! I'm literally counting down the seconds!!! eye rolling smiley
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 02:16PM
Tick tock, tick tock...
avatar Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 02:18PM
bwhahahahahaha!
avatar Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 02:30PM
can't believe my thread has gone sooooooooooo biggggggggggggg,

should i be proud ????
avatar Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 02:42PM
I think so... smile
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 03:09PM
E Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> this wait is horrible! I'm literally counting down
> the seconds!!! eye rolling smiley


Just to add to the suspense heres a countdown clock for you to watch the seconds go by...smile

Unisa Results Countdown Clock

Wow, excellent thread 114+
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 03:15PM
hahaha nice one Cameron

OMG... 6hrs 45mins..
Anonymous User
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 03:49PM
well how about some humour to calm those jittery nerves
smile

A man came home early from work, and found his young son crying.
He asked, "What's wrong?" The son said, "The Bogeyman is in
Mom's closet."

He told his son there was no such thing as a Bogeyman, and told
him they would go look and he would see. He went upstairs, and
found his wife in bed. He walked to the closet, opened the door,
and found a naked man.

He shouted, "What's the matter with you? Don't you have
anything better to do than run around scaring little kids?"

*****

Our Supply Clerk at the factory where I work, discovered a
box that was left on the loading dock with this warning
printed on it: DANGER DO NOT TOUCH!

Management was called and all employees were told to stay
clear of the box until it could be analyzed.

When the foreman arrived, he donned gloves and safety
glasses, and then, very carefully opened the box. Inside
were 250 signs that read:

DANGER! DO NOT TOUCH!

*****

The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You
say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried
about your taste in socks?"

"That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks."

"But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many
people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic.
In fact, I myself like wool socks."

"You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just
a squeeze of lemon?

*****

Some time ago, there was this artist who worked from a
studio in his home. He specialized in nudes and had been
working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for
several months now.

As usual, his model reported and after exchanging the
usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress
for the day's work.

He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a
cold he had been fighting. He added that he would pay her
for the day but that she could just go home; he just
wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed.

The model said "Oh, please, let me fix it for you. It's the
least I can do."

He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup too. They were
sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk and
enjoying their tea when he heard the front door open and
close, then some familiar footsteps. "Oh my God!" he
whispered loudly, "It's my wife! Quick! Take all your
clothes off!"

*****

This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it
happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away
the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide.
They tell this guy that they'll pay him well if he would
dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla
so people will keep coming to the zoo.

Well, the guy has his doubts, but he needs the money, so he
puts on the skin and goes out into the cage. The people all
cheer to see him. He plays up to the audience and they just
eat it up. This isn't so bad, he thinks, and he starts
really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest,
roaring and swinging around.

During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance
and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in
the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the
lion roars.

He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help, Help!"

The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest
and hisses, "Shut the hell up or we'll BOTH lose our jobs!"

*****

An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the
unusual findings he had made.

"For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at
a distance of 300 miles."

"What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles
away?" asked a sarcastic member of the group.

"I'm not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but I bet
it sounds something like...

"Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?!'"

*****

Both sides of our family turned out for my wife's college
graduation. After the dean finished awarding all the
diploma's, he requested, "Will all the 'cum laudes' please
stand up?"

My mother-in-law leaned over and whispered, "Wow! The Cum
Laude family sure has a lot of kids!"

*****

Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the
fare to the train station?"

"Sixty cents," said the driver.

As the bus pulled away the man raced alongside it until the
next stop. When the doors opened again he gasped, "How much
is the fare now?"

"Ninety cents," said the driver. "You're running the wrong
way."

*****

Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner
had to call an electrician, a roofer and a carpenter. One
afternoon he returned early from work and saw a plumber's
truck in the driveway.

"Lord," he pleaded, looking skyward, "please let her be
having an affair."

*****

The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts and
I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was
disappointed to find only a few skimpy pre-packaged portions of
the poultry, so I complained to the butcher.

"Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have
them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."

Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom
over the public-address system: "Will the gentleman who was
looking for bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the
store."

*****

In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators.
We had to do addition on our fingers.
To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.

*****

After the accident, I told the police officer I thought the
driver of the other vehicle was drunk. He told me the other
vehicle was a cow.

*****

Fun Things To Do During A Final That You Know You Are Going
To Fail

* Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last
15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and
do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

* If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it
is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols.

* Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre,
I've got the secret documents!!"

* On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interest-
ing way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I
refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it
conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

* Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel
on your head, and nothing else.

* Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know
one, make one up!

* Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not
looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

* Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way
through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you
have bad circulation.

* Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

* After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to
any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/
her.
E
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 03:49PM
hehehehehe....thanks! Glad to see I'm not the only one in this "difficult time" smoking smiley
Re: Release of exam results ?
December 12, 2006 03:58PM
why did the plane crash?

...

cos the pilot was a strawberry...

grinning smiley
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