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Satan loves you.

Posted by ilanpillemer 
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avatar Re: Satan loves you.
December 18, 2007 09:46PM
not being forced, but it is a matter of respect and acknowledgement.

certainly i wouldn't be posting about it if my arm were being twisted; it's a nice big middle finger to those morons who accused me of this and that without a clue about who i am.

-------
'I don't care anymore what a bunch of atheists (or whatever they want to call themselves) want to believe. Its pointless to try and convince someone of your own belief if all they care about is the bliss of their ignorance.'
'i think both subjectivity and objectivity equals in meaning'
'Hey all you satanists.'
'harsh? sorry, i don't have the basic understanding of such a word.'
'I though zombies were living dead corpses walking around trying to eat young virgin girls'
'But perhaps we just transfer into another dimension. If you lived a good live you transfer into say, the 7th dimension, and if you were bad you transfer into the 6th dimension. And if your state of being is not very well defined you only get to the 5th dimension, being closest to our current 4 dimensions of perception, explaining the whole ghost thing.'
'If I kill a snail, would that be considered as murder, because in a million years that snail might be a human?'
- Randal Flag
avatar Re: Satan loves you.
December 18, 2007 11:32PM
An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the
bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear
charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder &
saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He
tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but
saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his
left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.


At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist
and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to
help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical
of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps
you could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear
dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head &
spoke:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty
through Christ our Lord, Amen."
Re: Satan loves you.
December 19, 2007 07:30AM
Haha

Tracey wrote:
------------------
> Is your mother forcing you to go?

Unnecessarily nasty, don't you think.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This too shall pass
Re: Satan loves you.
December 19, 2007 08:04AM
I couldn't think of any other reason why Lycium would set his foot inside a church.
Anonymous User
Re: Satan loves you.
December 19, 2007 08:45AM
maybe he has a neice or neophew that was being christianed? maybe a friend was getting married... or the only reason I have enetered a church in a looong time - someone died?
avatar Re: Satan loves you.
December 19, 2007 09:06AM
i've been in churches hundreds, if not thousands, of times... the routine is well greased and indellibly burnt into memory by now.
Re: Satan loves you.
December 19, 2007 09:10AM
do you mind me asking why you go?
avatar Re: Satan loves you.
December 19, 2007 09:11AM
i went lots when i was younger, i was very religious and went to a lot of religious schools.
Re: Satan loves you.
December 19, 2007 09:12AM
oh okay, that's interesting.
avatar Re: Satan loves you.
December 19, 2007 09:16AM
i've mentioned it before, how it is that i'm so familiar with the bible and my troubles with asking about it at the sunday school (then later at an aftercare centre), at christian brothers' college, ...


anyway, i'm not saying this to sound all holy or whatever (i'm definitely not!), it's more or less for the finger-pointers who casually called me satan this and afrikaans that without knowing much of my past or heritage tongue sticking out smiley
Re: Satan loves you.
December 27, 2007 09:12AM
So lycium, how was the service?
avatar Re: Satan loves you.
December 27, 2007 09:53AM
horrible. the afrikaans dudes started their service early so we went to a plain old english church.

they had us doing reactions to phrases from stories they read, so like if they said "have a parade" then we'd have to physically get up and pretend to march saying "left right left right", and if they said "fireworks" we had to shout "pow! bang!" etc. also they had massive technical failures throughout, i think one of the guitar players lost a finger while playing (sounded like), and the priest was doing the steve ballmer "developers! developers! developers!" thing a bit.

-------
'I don't care anymore what a bunch of atheists (or whatever they want to call themselves) want to believe. Its pointless to try and convince someone of your own belief if all they care about is the bliss of their ignorance.'
'i think both subjectivity and objectivity equals in meaning'
'Hey all you satanists.'
'harsh? sorry, i don't have the basic understanding of such a word.'
'I though zombies were living dead corpses walking around trying to eat young virgin girls'
'But perhaps we just transfer into another dimension. If you lived a good live you transfer into say, the 7th dimension, and if you were bad you transfer into the 6th dimension. And if your state of being is not very well defined you only get to the 5th dimension, being closest to our current 4 dimensions of perception, explaining the whole ghost thing.'
'If I kill a snail, would that be considered as murder, because in a million years that snail might be a human?'
- Randal Flag
Anonymous User
Re: Satan loves you.
December 27, 2007 10:04AM
please explain the "developers developer developers" bit to me - I can't access the site sad smiley
avatar Re: Satan loves you.
December 27, 2007 10:06AM
steve ballmer was... essentially going batshit crazy, chanting "developers!" over and over again, sweating profusely and yapping "yes!" with great excitement.

pretty classic, watch it when you get a chance smiling smiley
avatar Re: Satan loves you.
February 09, 2016 11:59AM
Holy crap, this was over 8 years ago already smiling smiley
Re: Satan loves you.
September 06, 2016 10:09AM
I trolled before it was cool smoking smiley
avatar Re: Satan loves you.
June 23, 2019 10:34PM
boing boing
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